Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
