what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
