his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
