Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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