so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
