im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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