Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
