with your own penis?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
