You work out of a Hotel?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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