I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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