yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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