Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
