So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
