fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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