This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
