i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
