Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
