dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
