We're like a lot better than the average bears
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
