garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
