I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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