Best friends brother. Beat that.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
