nut hugger
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
