haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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