I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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