In the future we'll all be gay
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I just sharted jello shots
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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