There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
