Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
