I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
