just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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