I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I CAN MOONWALK!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
