K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just had sex on a roof
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
