I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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