i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
