Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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