I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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