When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
