I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
