The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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