I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
