I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
