So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
