ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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