no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
