it wasn't lemon gatorade
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
