guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
