is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
