also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
