No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
