Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
