a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
