the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
